Moving on...

Well, we moved this summer. It has been interesting. It has opened my eyes to a lot of things. We got comfortable living in our old house and neighborhood. You get in a comfort zone. You get used to the same things, day in and day out. Living the dream. Work, play, eat, sleep, repeat.
Now all of a sudden I am plucked out of my comfort zone, and my world is turned upside down. All the routines that keep us going on a day to day basis are thrown out the window. Suddenly, things aren’t where they used to be. While kids are really resilient, they are also creatures of habit. So this has been a little hard on all of us. But instead of making this sound like an “oh poor me,” blog, I will tell you all the good things I have learned about moving so far.

1- Home is where the heart is? Yes, it is. You can pretty much use any of the cliché sayings like “Home is where you make it,” “Home sweet home,” ”Home is where your story begins,” “Home is where memories are made.” These are all true. I have learned this more than anything in the last month. I went from a 4000 square foot 5 bedroom, 3 bath house, to a 1500 square foot 3 bedroom, 2 bath duplex. To say that we downsized is an understatement. What is interesting though is that the external house doesn’t matter as much as I thought it did. So although I may not be hosting any big parties or fancy suppers anytime soon, the best thing about where I live is who I share it with.

2- When you have been somewhere for over 10 years, you accumulate a lot of stuff. No matter how organized you think you are, you can accumulate a lot of stuff. A lot of stuff = a lot of stuff you probably don’t need. A lot of stuff = abundantly blessed. But a lot of stuff takes a lot of people to move, and a lot of help. Thankful for so many friends who helped us move all our stuff, and thankful for a God who has blessed us with so many wonderful belongings. My goal though is that I never forget that stuff is just stuff. My God is my God, and that is who I worship…not my belongings. It’s a trap we all fall into at some point in our lives.

3- You can’t pick your neighbors, but you can pick how you react to them. Our neighbors are challenging. It is two broken families living together. A total of 4 boys from two different households. To say that these children need a few lessons in manners is an understatement. On many an occasion, I have had to hold my tongue and remind them gently that we say please, thank you, I’m sorry, and we don’t call names. Now while I could totally grumble and let this eat me up, worrying that I can’t control who my kids are friends with (my boys love the neighbor boys), I can also see what a good influence we can be. We had the oldest boy spend the night a few weeks ago. The next morning at breakfast, we prayed. At which time my oldest ask the neighbor boy if he prayed before eating. He said he did not. Then, Nick proceeded to ask him if he went to church, and when he said he didn’t, he asked him to join us. I couldn’t have been more proud of my Nick. And quite humbled myself, as I realized I have a prime opportunity to show Jesus’ love here. What if I am this kids’ only exposure to Jesus…please don’t let me screw that up…

4- Life goes on. We start a new routine. We find a new happiness. We create a new life in the circumstances we have. While part of me is sad that I have not only a storage unit, store room, and garage full of stuff I have hardly had to dig into, I am also happy to report that my boys who have 2 toy boxes full of toys (and probably more in storage we have forgotten), have hardly played with them. Wait, what? Yes, I am happy they aren’t playing with their toys. Why you ask? Because we have played outside more, gone on bike rides, learned how to make a dirt pile fun, and swam more than we did at our other house. I want to teach them that there is more to life than the things we own…if only I could learn that myself…

5- A clean house really is not a reflection of me. I once was a person who would have a house that barely looked lived in. I have since let that go, and realize that my house is lived in, and rather than spend time worrying about if my floors are filthy (which there comes a point when I absolutely can’t handle it anymore), I am outside getting dirty with my boys and laughing the whole time. I will never get this time back, so I am trying to make the most of what I can, no matter the living situation.

6- “Home is the place where when you have to go there, they have to take you in.” Let’s take a moment to examine this sentence. Is it true on earth? Probably, most of the time  Is it true for our heavenly home? I wish I could show up to heaven, and they would HAVE to take me in. However, I know that it not the case. Or is it???? I am a believer, and nothing can separate me from the love of Christ. His grace is never ending. Christ paid the price for me, so that I will ALWAYS have a home to come to when I am done with my earthly home, and for that I will be forever grateful. His grace is enough. This I must always remember. It is not about our home here, but about our heavenly home. Never forget that. This home is just temporary. It is not a means to an end, but a means to a NEW beginning.

“You will show me the way of life, granting me the joy of your presence and the pleasures of living with you forever.” Psalm 16:11

Reflections of a Mom

Reflections of a Mom….

Mother’s day…That time of year when we honor all mother’s across the world. This is one job that brings us together, spans generations, connects strangers, makes us laugh, makes us cry, and exhausts even the toughest of us. So, what are the top ten lessons I have learned in my long 5+ years as a mother so far???

#1 – No matter how old you are…tag is just a fun game. There are so many versions of it and it never gets old. You can play it almost anywhere inside or outside. It’s good exercise and good laughs. On the flip side, if you ask Grandma Turtle, tag is also dangerous.

#2- Every song/every movie/every tragic news story about children will now make you cry. You relate to it in a very personal way, and waterworks are expected.

#3 – Reading to your children is so vital. It shows them how important books are. The written and spoken language is first learned at home…make it stick. Choose while you can, what you fill those little minds with. I am happy to say that my 5 year old got praised at school for always knowing the bible stories, and my 2 year old loves the story of “the Giant” (Goliath) and can point out Jesus in his bible.

#4 – Teaching your children the importance of exercise is vital. My kids go to the gym with me several times a week. They love working out with me at home, and we try to make a lot of our outside activities fun sports stuff. I couldn’t have been more proud than when Nick drew a picture of me, and it was a girl lifting weights. Go Mommy Power!!!

#5 – Sometimes you just have to say, “I’m sorry.” We all have those days when we are yelling, snapping, hustling our kids. Life is not all fairy tales, it’s the real moments. It’s learning to keep your cool, even when you are stressed. It’s saying, “I’m sorry,” when you do lose your cool, so they will learn how to do the same.

#6 – Say YES to messes. I never knew a child could be so messy until my Lucas came along. He can find a way to make grapes messy I swear! But recently I was reminded it’s okay to step outside my Mom box, and just BE in the moment. The other day when we were at the park, we ended up having a fight with the little rubber pieces and wrestling in them, stuffing them down shorts, and burying Daddy in them. We had so much fun and laughed so hard, it was the highlight of my day. And yes, it was messy. We were almost black when we were done, and I have little rubber pieces all over my house, but it was worth it!

#7 – When your child’s feelings are hurt, it’s magnified 100x to you. I think this will only get worse as time goes on. There have been several times where a child at the park, or even a parent at the park, does something that goes unwitnessed by us, but hurts my little Nicks’ feelings. He really is my tender heart child. I seriously want to go put a beat down on people. I hurt for him, and it’s like my heart is aching even worse. How do you teach your child to turn the other cheek when you want to punch someone??? It’s hoping and praying your children turn out to be better versions of you, better versions of Jesus… Otherwise, the saying must hold true, “Hell hath no fury...” (like a Mom whose child has been hurt.)

#8 – I stick to the truth that this is the hardest yet most rewarding job I have ever had. Not every day is some great adventure that we can post on facebook or make a scrapbook page out of… However, it is the little things that will keep me smiling over the years. Like how Lucas yells, “Yook (look) Mommy.” How Nick said, “Dot dot and waterlemon – those will forever be household names in our house.” Like the time when Nick wrote a note “Do not forget suitcase,” and taped it to his suitcase. The many, many times we have wrestled, played tag, played bull riding…..Those are the times I will miss.

#9 – Hold hands, hug and kiss…and DO it often. There is nothing like the feel of a little hand in yours. It’s magical, just try it. Teach your boys it’s okay to show affection. It’s okay to say I love you. My husband is 42 years old and still hugs and kisses his Mom when she leaves…I think it’s the sweetest thing ever…

#10 – Pray FOR your kids, and pray WITH your kids. In this very scary day and age, there are bad people and bad things that happen that we cannot explain. Pray for their safety. Pray for you to lead them in the way Jesus would want. Pray together – at meals, at bedtime, in the morning, in the car, when you hear an ambulance….Show them your faith through ACTION. It is the best way that they can learn.

So I will leave with this thought….

Dear Jesus…
Please help me to be the best parent I can and the best example for my children possible. I know I get wrapped up in today’s world, today’s hustle, and what other’s might think of me….help me fight that urge and stay focused on you and the end goal. Please help me be a good example of your love to my children, as you never know when they are listening/watching. Please keep my loved ones safe, especially my little ones who are so very precious to us all. And Lord, when I fail, please pick me up, dust me off, and tell me to “Keep Calm & Jesus On.”
Love,
This Tired, but very Blessed Mommy

"In all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3: 6

The Top Ten Things My Boys Will Never Understand

Well, Todd's surgery has come and gone. The holiday's have come and gone. The old year has gone and the new has come...and here I am....full of thoughts and ideas and struggling to find time to put them to print.

I am troubled by all that is going on with this world. And although it bothers me greatly, make NO mistake, it does NOT challenge my faith. My faith is what is getting me through this crazy world right now. So, as the topic of all the crazy things that go on comes up, I start thinking about how different things are now. I don't want this to be another story about how hard we had it (walking up hill both ways to school in the snow - blah blah blah), but just more as food for thought on how things have evolved. I just think of how radically different this world is going to be for my boys and I just can't help but question how long it will last. So here you go - some are good, some are bad....but here are the top ten things I feel my boys will never know/understand as I see it. (And these are in no particular order of importance - except for #10 being #10.)

#1 - CELL PHONES - Okay, now this is both good and bad as I see it. While you will no longer have to sit at home and wonder what everyone is up to (thank you facebook), sometimes it's good NOT to know what someone is up to :) While I can contact you at any time should an emergency arise, I can also contact you at anytime when there is no emergency. I can call, I can text, I can video, I can send pictures, I can even track your phone to see where you are....BUT I can also forget my manners, talk loud in public about subjects that shouldn't be talked about, stalk you, send inappropriate pics/texts/emails that might hurt myself/friends/family/job,and actually forget to LIVE in the moment instead of trying to capture it on video/picture.
My boys will never know what it is like not to have a phone by your side whenever you want/need it.

#2- PLAYING OUTSIDE - I grew up in a small town - probably like 800-1000 people. It was a safe place. I don't ever remember being scared of anything bad happening, except maybe for any trouble I caused :) I was given pretty much free reign most of the time. We rode our bikes to the swimming pool. Rode them around town. No adults with us. Went down to the river. Played outside 'til dark. I didn't stray too far from home, and usually I think my parents knew the general vicinity of my location. My best friend lived about 1 1/2 blocks away, and I would walk up to her house or ride my bike. We would walk to school together, which was probably about 5 blocks away. We would go play at an old salebarn. Lots of things to do in a small town :) Now, as we currently live in Manhattan, obviously it is a lot bigger town. However, when discussing with Todd (who grew up here ) - his Mom used to let him go walk by himself about 5 blocks to get home. So the two towns were pretty similar at that time. I wouldn't dream of letting my children walk anywhere by themselves. I had a hard time letting my niece and nephew stay at the neighborhood swimming pool without me this past summer, and they are 14 & 11. There are too many risks now. Heck, I panic when I am in a store and I can't see Nick. I scold him and tell him, " You can't hide in the clothes or walk around the corner without me, I have to be able to see you."
My boys will never know what it is like to play without direct supervision.

#3 - FAMILY - I grew up about 1 block away from each set of grandparents (who's house I frequented quite often). If I couldn't be found with my best friend, most times I was at Grandma and Grandpa's house. My family means the world to me. I hope that I can instill this in my boys. We need family. We need them all the time, both physically and emotionally. It just so happens that I am not too far geographically from my family. My parents live about 30 minutes away and we get together often. They are very active in their grandkids lives - both helping take care of them and coming to activities/events. My brother and his family are outside of Manhattan. Todd's Mom lives in town, and his Dad in Riley. We are able to get together whenever we can with them, sometimes not as often as we all wish, but busy busy lives are like that!!
My boys will never understand what it's like to just walk to Grandma's house.

#4 - ACTIVITIES - As I mentioned above...busy busy lives. This activity and that activity. You can get your kids involved in dance, piano, soccer, wrestling, t-ball, cheerleading, football, basketball, track...the list goes on and on....This sometimes leaves parents running from place to place for this practice and that practice, and this game and that game, and dividing and conquering to make sure kids get where they need to be. This is exhausting ( and I am NOT speaking from experience here - just from what I have heard). Not only are parents exhausted, but kids are too. They are stuck into a sport now so early, that sometimes by the time they get to high school, they hate it! They are spread so thin it reminds me of a saying...jack of all trades, master of none.
My boys will never know what it's like to just be a kid without all the worldly pressure to DO MORE.

#5 - SCHOOL - I don't have to put a lot of explanation into this in lieu of recent public tragedies. What parent in the last month (regardless of our skill), hasn't considered home schooling? Will my boys have to be searched? Will they have to go through metal detectors? Will they have an armed guard? Instead of fire alarms and tornado drills, my boys will have "lock down" drills for school shootings, abductions, and the likes.
My boys will never know what school used to be like when safety wasn't an issue.

#6 - CANCER - It's everywhere now. Cancers being discovered we didn't even know about. It's quickly approaching the number one killer (heart disease). I think with advances in modern medicine, this is actually a good thing. We have learned to treat and cure cases of cancer that previously would have died (and maybe we would not even have known the cause of death). However, this brings a certain paranoia with it. Too much of this causes cancer, too much of that causes cancer.....This fear of the unknown, "the crazy cancer cells developing," leaves a person quite confused about how they should live and what they should eat. And it leaves us hoping that sometime in our lifetime or the next, there will be a cure.
My boys will never understand a world where cancer didn't exist.

#7 - TECHNOLOGY - This is also everywhere you look now. Cell phones I hit on above. Now I am referring to the rest....DVD players, laptop computers, IPAD's, Iphones, IPods, kindle...the list goes on and on. Do you remember what it's like to write a research report? To go to the library, look in the catalog, use the dewey decimal system. Find a book, write by hand or use copier to get the information you need for your paper. Do you remember life before Google? When you had to wonder about information, or look it up in a book. Now it's at the tip of your finger. Look through a phone book lately? Yeah, me neither. Why should I? I can type it in my phone faster. Now again, I don't think this is all a bad thing. We are a generation of information. It's everywhere. We have access to some of the greatest things ever at the touch of a button. However, keep in mind, not everything you read is true, and one must always question the source.
My boys will never understand what it was like before computerized devices went mainstream.

#8 - AIRPORT - Another topic that likely doesn't need much explanation if you have flown in the past, and then flown anywhere lately. 9-11 changed everything in regards to flying. Body searches, luggage scanning, fluids 3 oz only, no shoes....
My boys will never understand what it was like when it was easy to travel by air.

#9 - HATE GROUPS - So the previous generation had their share of groups that we would consider hate groups, this is a known fact. However, in today's world, you can scan the paper, the news, the internet, and pull up thousands of hate groups. There is a particular group close to our area that is known for it's hatred of soldiers, "fags" and such. This group was present during my college years, but really is ALL over the news now with the current information highway making it easy for them to get press.
My boys will never understand a world that is filled with such hate.

#10 - RELIGION - This is the topic that breaks my heart. There is such division. People all over the world getting killed in the name of religion ( and yes I know we can date this all the way back to biblical times). But what hits more closely to home is how God has become like this "white elephant" in the room. You know, the one that everyone knows is there, but no one will stand up and talk about. GOD FORBID I MENTION GOD OR PRAYING. Might offend someone. It's become such a HUGE issue to separate church and state. I used to stand up everyone morning in school before class and say the pledge of allegiance..."One nation under God". Do they even say that anymore? I honestly don't know, I don't have grade school kids yet. We prayed before playing sports. As of today, there have been legal cases fought and won all across the nation of statues being removed due to the fact they had religious words/suggestions, cases where someone's religion came into play at the workplace or school, and cases where someone asked/spoke about religion and "shouldn't" have. There are few other topics that get me fired up besides this. I believe this nation was created with God and it should exist and end with God as well.
My boys will never know what the nation that was built under God used to be like.

And so I will leave you with these final thoughts...
"But blessed is the man who trusts me, God, the woman who sticks with God. They're like trees replanted in Eden, putting down roots near the rivers - Never a worry through the hottest of summers, never dropping a leaf, serene and calm through droughts, bearing fresh fruit every season." Jeremiah 17:7-8 MSG

"Don't fear: I am First, I am Last, I'm Alive. I died, but I came to life, and my life is now forever. See these keys in my hand? They open and lock Death's doors, they open and lock Hell's gates." Revelation 1:18 MSG

"God blesses the one who reads the words of this prophecy to the church, and he blesses all who listen to its message and obey what it says, for the time is near." Revelation 1:3 NLT