Enjoy the journey....

Have you ever watched a child just shrieking with delight at something they are discovering or playing? I was reminded of this recently, when I watched a friend's video on her child running and playing while being sprayed with a hose. He was shrieking with joy, and when it was over, he asked for more. I thought to myself, I would have been mad if someone sprayed me with a cold hose. And then it came to me, why does the same thing bring about two totally different responses in a child and an adult?
Because as adults we are programmed to fit in to society. We are programmed to act a certain way. We have rules. On the other hand, tt's really amazing to watch children. You can just stand back and bathe in their joy... uncensored, unblocked from this cynical world we live in.
Why do we stop living this way? Why do we "grow up" and forget how fun it is to blow bubbles? How fun it is to sit in the sun and eat Popsicles? How interesting it is to watch ants? How you can hear the world's sounds if you just close your eyes and take it all in?
I remember when Nick was about 2. We used to walk down to our park all the time. It's about 2 blocks away, but to get there, it might take us like 20 minutes!!! Why you ask? Well, this little boy would stop and point out every worm in the cracks, look at all the rocks, pick up all the sticks, study the leaves, you name it....

At first, this used to frustrate my husband, who is very goal orientated, as he wanted to get to the park!! I mean really, that is the goal, right? After a few trips of frustration, I had to remind him to embrace who Nicholas really is...a curious learning little boy...enjoying the world...embracing life and all it's little things...
So there's a poem that I love, and I keep it in a file to read from time to time.
Just For Today
by Sally Meyer

Just for this morning,
I am going to smile when I see your face...
and laugh when I feel like crying.

Just for this morning,
I will let you wake up softly in your flannel p.j.'s...
and hold you until you are ready to stir.

Just for this morning,
I will let you choose what you want to wear...
and I will say how beautiful you are.

Just for this morning,
I will step over the laundry to pick you up...
and take you to the park to play

Just for this morning,
I will leave the dishes in the sink...
and let you teach me how to put your puzzle together.

Just for this afternoon,
I will unplug the telephone and keep the computer off...
and sit with you in the garden
blowing bubbles.

Just for this afternoon,
I will not yell once, not even a tiny grumble when you
scream and whine for the ice cream truck...
and I will buy you one, if he comes by.

Just for this afternoon,
I won't worry about what you are going to be
when you grow up...
I will simply love you for the joy you bring me

Just for this afternoon,
I will let you help me make cookies...
and I wont stand over you . . . trying to 'fix things.'

Just for this afternoon,
I will take you to McDonald's and buy us both a 'Happy Meal'...
so you can have two toys.

Just for this evening,
I will hold you in my arms and tell you the story of how you
were born...
and how much we love you.

Just for this evening,
I will let you splash in the bathtub...
and I won't get angry when you pour water over your sister's
head.

Just for this evening,
I will let you stay up late...
while we sit on the porch swing
and count all the stars.

Just for this evening,
I will bring you glasses of water...
and snuggle beside you for hours...
and miss my favorite t.v. show.

And tonight when you are sleeping safe and warm in your bed,
I will think of the mothers and fathers
who mourn for the children they have lost.

I will remember the parents who sit by hospital beds,
watching over the little ones they love.

I will weep for those parents whose children are cold,
hungry and suffering,

and .... this evening,
when I kneel down to pray,
I will simply be grateful for all that I have

and not ask for anything...

except just one more day.


© copyright 1999 Sally Meyer

ENJOY THE JOURNEY KIDS....NOT THE DESTINATION....


"This is the day the Lord has made. We will rejoice and be glad in it." Psalm 118:24

For better or worse...

Today I celebrate 14 years of marriage with my wonderful husband. We have known each other for 16 years and been together for 15 years....and where does time go????

Now if you know us, you will know that it hasn't been all wedded bliss...There was a point in our marriage where we were actually separated and lived apart for 6 months. It's not something I am proud of, but I am very open about this with anyone when the topic comes up and this is why.

We all have rough spots in our marriage. Times when we aren't close, times when we want to throw in the towel, times when we feel like maybe someone else would be better for us...If you disagree then either #1 - you are deceiving yourself or #2 - it just hasn't happened to you yet.

I am sad to say that during that time of separation, my relationship with Jesus, wasn't what it is now. But, I am happy to say that we made it through two very rough spots, and we are closer to God, and have a stronger relationship because of it.

The other thing that helped us through was the support and love from our family and friends. We couldn't have done it without any of them. They were there to listen (again and again) and encourage us to not give up on each other. They were good examples of marriages for us to follow.

When we share about our past, people often ask us how we got past all the anger, hurt, and living apart. We are honest and tell them that it was a long time after those troubles where things were still not good. I would be trying and Todd would be done, and then vice verse...But our answer simply remains the same...in the end, it was nothing but the Grace of God that got us through....

I can only hope and pray that we will get to celebrate at least another 3 rounds of 14 years together....

Hosea 2:19
"And I will betroth you to me forever. I will betroth you to me in righteousness and in justice, in steadfast love and in mercy."

Gifts from God....

Today is a new day. God gives us 24 hrs to get it right again...
Sometimes weekends are long days with our kids, lots to do, tired, worn out, household chores, etc etc etc....
But, today is a new day. We get 24 hrs, 1440 minutes, 86400 seconds to do it all over again.
Have you ever just stood back and watched your children? I mean really, just took in the excitement in their eyes when they find a little treasure on the ground, even if it's just a silly little rock. Have you ever watched their face light up when they see their Daddy? Have you ever just hugged your child, and asked God for one more chance to get it right?


I have...Because as parents, we all make mistakes. We do things we wish we wouldn't have. We say things we wish we wouldn't have. We lose our patience. We rush our children. We drag them through our daily chaos (I am really guilty of this one).
I was listening to K-Love radio last night (if you haven't heard this station - find it where you are - it's awesome - and my kids love it too!!). They were talking about parenting, and they said, there's 3 things our kids need from us....
#1 - Our love. Now most of us get this right. Kids need our hugs, our kisses, our unconditional love. This one is easy I think :)
#2 - Kids need limits. We aren't crushing their spirit or damaging them for life. They NEED limits. They need rules, stability, and to know that they can't just do whatever they want, when they want. Teaching them right from wrong in a loving way. You CAN discipline YOUR child....not PUNISH them...DISCIPLINE them. Look it up in the dictionary, there is a difference....
#3 - They need our time!!! This is not one of those things that is just "quality time." With kids you can't get quality time without getting quantity of time!!!

Something to think about. Sure gives me some things to remember and try to work on.
Often when I am super frustrated, or had a really bad day with the kids, I try to remember that somewhere, some mother/father would give anything to hold their child again, and I thank God for my gifts.
Psalm 127:3 "Children are a heritage from the LORD, offspring a reward from him."
And so I will leave you with this quote I saw this morning that sums up how I feel about parenting....

"While we try to teach our children all about life, children teach us what life is all about."

Cuz Every Girl Is Crazy 'Bout A Sharp Dressed Man!

It all started when Nick was about two. He was so independent. I would let him dress himself. It was VERY helpful to me! I was so proud of him. I thought I had him trained, but boy was I wrong!! He would bring the outfit he picked into me and say, "Does this match?" And I would say, "No, pick another pair of pants, etc." Well, I remember an incident one morning before I went to work. Nick and Todd were in his room, and Nick had got himself dressed. He was wearing a purple shirt and red pants. I told him it didn't match and to get different pants. A meltdown ensued...(me or Nick???) Todd was saying, "What does it matter?" And I specifically remember saying (out loud I might add), "It looks stupid because it doesn't match." Meanwhile, my kid is crying and carrying on. I leave for work. I am actually mad I tell you. Steaming mad...
And then it hits me....really Christine? You are mad because your 2 year old wants to wear red pants and a purple shirt....That IS stupid. So, I have to apologize to my 2 year old (I'm sure it won't be the last time), for being mad and not saying a nice thing (we don't say stupid in our house).
So from that moment on I decided, "Choose your battles wisely." And that is not one that I choose to fight. And so was born, my little eccentric Nicholas Edward Allen.
Let me tell you about my little man. He has a personality all his own. I say quite often to my mother, "You never know what Nick is gonna do." And this is so true, and I love him for it!

Nicholas to me, is one in a million. When he gets up in the morning, he knows EXACTLY what he wants to wear. He will say, "Mom, where is my BUG shirt," or something to that liking. If I get the privilege of helping him get dressed, he will sit on the bed while I flip through the shirts, until he decides which one he wants to wear. Then he will have decide exactly what pants he wants to wear, what shoes, what socks, and so the list goes. He has a drawer full of colorful socks of various characters (I just love socks, and thank you target for having kids character socks for $1), and he will search for exactly the right pair to go with his outfit.

Shoes is a whole other story. You never know what he will be in the mood for. My husband gave me a hard time when he was 2 because I bought him a $10 pair of brown horsey rain boots at Orscheln's. He said, "those are a waste of money." Boy did he eat his words. When Nick started liking those, he wore those boots with EVERYTHING, and nearly wore off the heel!!! We have worn cowboy boots with both sweats and shorts. The sky is the limit!
Also somewhere between 2-3 years old comes a very determined little boy. He latched on to a few articles of clothing SO MUCH that I found myself washing them A LOT! First we had our "hun-un sweat pants." This was when he was learning to talk and for some reason, we got that name, which we are not still sure what he meant, but if he said "hun-un sweat pants," we knew exactly what pair he was referring to.
To us, there was nothing special about them, just a normal nylon slick pair of royal blue pants with black/white stripes on the side. But to that kid, it was his favorite pair. So much so, I actually searched ebay for another pair exactly like those (to no avail). With the "hun-un sweat pants," came the "bear hirt (aka bear shirt)." This was a shirt we got him from a trip to Colorado that had a grizzly bear on it. Again, I searched high and low for an extra "bear hirt," but again no luck. And lastly, we had our Buzz Lightyear jammies. Now these are original jammies from the original Toy Story, worn by my nephew Colton. These jammies were 10 years old! But they were so cool, they had wings!! Searched again for an extra pair after a meltdown one night because I had to wash them, and again came up empty handed. Hence this Mama did a lot of laundry in those days. I would literally have to bargain with him, wash them and give them right back! Silly, huh??? Yes, but have you ever seen a kid meltdown???

So anyways, back to the story. I don't want you to think I am some kind of hippy or crazy Mom who never battles over this. I do. I just choose when it's time to battle, and I have learned how to use the best weapons. Nick is a kid who absolutely LOVES clothes. He is my kid who when I say we are going to Target, he says, "Can I get a new shirt there?" He doesn't ask for toys hardly ever, but if you get him a new shirt, you will be his friend for life. And you can tell if he likes it, because he will put it on RIGHT away. Seriously, I have seen him strip right in the store. Now he even knows he can put it on before we pay if he gives me the tags. So if I want him to wear a special shirt for say Christmas eve church or something, I promise to get him a new outfit (who doesn't love new outfits for special occasions??). But, I have also learned to do this VERY close the event, otherwise, he will wear it right away, and when the big day comes, he won't want to wear it.
Yes, my Nicholas is quite the character. People tell me they are always looking to see what he will be wearing, because "you just don't know about Nicholas!" So what was once a source of frustration, is now a sense of pride. Instead of crushing that free spirit to fit in the box of what we find acceptable, I have let him flourish. And this is just what Nicholas does and he does it well. He doesn't care if he wears jammies to Dillons, if he has cowboy boots with shorts, if his colors match (because to him they ALL match). All he cares about is that he gets to choose (and hopefully it's clean :)

So I say to you little man, keep marching. Keep on marching to the beat of your own drum and don't let the world tell you NO! Because in the end....Every Girl Is Crazy 'Bout A Sharp Dressed Man!
Romans 12:2 MSG "Don't become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You'll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you."